We have a calendar!

Test tomorrow to determine if our ivf calendar sticks. And oh yeah we finally got a calendar! I do feel a little more zen this time around. I mean, still nervous because if this fails we only have one more shot and the two back to back trips through CA have broken the bank. So if it fails there is no back to back trip again, there’s wait until we can save for the third. So oddly enough there’s more stress this time around. I just feel more at ease anyway.

On FB I am seeing more on this day posts about how we felt this route was the next one for us as we truly got ready to move beyond IAC's bankruptcy.  Although I regret not having gone this route instead of adoption from the beginning, and wouldn't recommend agency adoptions now, if we had to learn that lesson I am still glad we chose who we did as an agency.  In theory they best matched our morals in that they didn't exclude people accept those who legally cannot adopt.  In reality, they used us and ran the business into the ground, but thanks to minimal regulations, I fear that's most agencies now.

I just wish I knew if our current route will work out.  Such a long painful journey.  I'd like to think it'll work out in the end.

Our egg donor backed out

Our egg donor backed out.  Can't really be mad at her.  Her body, her choice.  Did make for a stressful weekend reviewing new profiles.  We were offered two.  One got ruled out pretty quickly so then it was a question of is the remaining profile one we wanted to accept or would we wait for others.  Part of the problem in deciding is I'm already on meds.  Quitting mid-cycle wasn't appealing. Wasting drugs.  Doing tests again.  Etc.  It all factored into our decision along with the profile.  We finally decided that we were okay with the remaining profile.  So we're still moving ahead on basically the same calendar.  Just another little bump in the road.

Shortages

One think I have learned about IVF is that there always seems to be a shortage of one or more of the meds.  We were lucky last time and just had the clinic fill the prescriptions at whatever clinic they knew had them.  Now that it's clear we need a refill (hoping this is the last one) we wanted to go the more economic route so we transferred them to a major chain.  They had two of the three meds I needed.  The third (or the first I am to start) is on nationwide backorder.  So I spent hours on hold yesterday to find no stores from that chain have it.  And that the original pharmacy is also out.  As are most.  Not ideal when I only have a few days left of the last round.  I did finally find a place with one kit left and the transfer is in progress.  Just another annoyance.

Also our clinic apparently forgot to renew one of their domains.  Not the one for the program we are in, but the one they host their email with.  Oops.  That explains why I couldn't get through on the phone, pretty sure everyone is calling them.

But the baseline yesterday was fine, so here we go again.... Hopefully with a different outcome.

Cutting it close

This IVF process is very stressful but hey two days before they wanted the first test for this round of IVF they finally got me a calendar confirming the dates. The local clinic has one late afternoon appointment left on the day they wanted it done. Not like we had to cut it this close, but we did so phew!

Also figured out the mystery call from the pharmacy is because they sent new RXs for what I still have refills for and had transferred to another pharmacy. Need to remind myself to breathe sometimes.

Please let round two work!

I really hope round two of ivf is successful because I may go insane if I have to deal with a third round of this.

So far I got a rx for birth control after much nagging/begging despite them wanting me on it. Still waiting for a calendar and baseline ultrasound that I really needed yesterday if it’s even close to the temporary calendar, but per phone call today I will get them “shortly” which means 5 minutes or 5 days from now apparently. Then I get a call from the pharmacy we just transferred everything away from to say they have a new rx for me, which I know nothing about (I know it's not the birth control as that went to my usual pharmacy and is definitely there). So I guess tomorrow = more freaking begging for the calendar and ultrasound order and trying to figure out whether or not they ordered a new mystery rx I know nothing about.

Swap.com

So I pretty much never buy myself new clothes.  Maybe once every year or two I'll grab some things during an Old Navy sale or something.  I do, however, have tons of t-shirts.  We're addicted to RIPT Apparel.  Especially the hubby.  He's known at work for his t-shirt collection.  Otherwise I just stock up on necessities like underwear and socks now and then and just don't think much about clothes.  Until recently when I realized I really only wear a couple of skirts.  Almost no pants or shorts.  Honestly I just don't wear as many pants as I used to, we do live in perma-Summer land though so... Anyway, it was beyond time for some new clothes.  But I also feel guilty about spending money on clothes because well the failed adoption agency, IVF, helping some family and friends, and oh yeah we're not rich.  We do okay but we also live in a place where rents on studios are what people pay for huge houses with yards anywhere else.  So even though we do okay, we do still have some tight  months.

That's when I realized the internet has basically the biggest used clothing stores.  I mean there's always been things like eBay, but it's not always easy to do order a bunch of things there.  Unless you find the perfect lot for you, it becomes a lot of work piecing things together and who wants 10 boxes from different sellers just to get some clothes?  

I am not against used if it's in good condition anyway.  So I took a chance and ordered around $60 worth of stuff from Swap.com (Referral link that gets you 20% off your first order or $20+: HERE).    I have to admit, I did feel like their competition had better reviews.  So going with Swap felt like a real gamble.  I did have it not include "fair" which seems to be their rating that includes more damaged or worn out pieces.  They had the best selection of plus sized clothing of the sites I did some online window shopping on.  They also had the best prices.  So I felt like I would be gambling the least there.  $60ish got me a dress (my favorite piece though I put no effort into taking these pics of the first haul), 5 skirts, 2 pairs of shorts, 6 tank/camis.  I was only disappointed by two pieces.  The pink skirt fits me weird.  Perfect everywhere but the waist is snug enough to not be comfortable.  I'll donate it.  Also the geometic skirt you can only barely see since I tried to cram it all in one picture.  It's so cute but I had never owned anything from that company (Jete) so I followed their sizing guide and it ended up being way too big for me anyway.  The dress is the same size and fits fine, a bit loose but not enough to be of concern.  I love the skirt so much though though I will keep it for when we finally do get pregnant.  And I'll probably I did reorder it in a smaller size too.

I will definitely be doing more clothes shopping there because I am cheap.  Also because there's a big variety of clothes all in one place. 

Accepted a new profile

We decided not to wait before being offered new profiles.  I'm not getting any younger and while the first transfer failing did break our hearts a bit, the goal of parenthood hasn't changed.  No point in dwelling over what wasn't.  Time to move forward.  Not gonna lie, there have been a few serious cries. But, it happens.  Sometimes it takes more than one try.  We accepted the new profile.  Hoping this next transfer is it.  It should be as soon as my body will let it happen.  Probably May or June.