Ahh the pressure

I’ve just put a ton of pressure on myself.  I’ve a painting in my head.  Not random squiggles.  Not a cartoon’y girl or bot or an attempt to draw something or an experiment in what I consider “cheating” using photos to create art.  No, a painting, from my brain… Inspired by something with so much meaning to me.  The pressure I am about to put on myself, knowing I’m not really an artist… Oh my.  But here I go.  It’s a lovely beautiful thoughtful ugh I have no words… It’s an idea I must try.  Even if perfection were to exist, and I somehow knew how to create it, I’d still find ways to claim I hadn’t.  So, trying to get this idea onto the computer screen and be happy with it, is going to be tough.  But I must try.  And I must try to find the way to make it so that I kind of semi sort of like it.  I like the concept.  That’s a start.  I came up up with the idea for a painting — digital painting — with inspiration borrowed from somewhere else, and am HAPPY with that… wow, I must be broken, am not beating myself totally up… yet.  Ready… set…. here I go… Time to start.